Struggle with Internal Definition of Identity

I was asked to give ten characteristics of myself by a friend, and at first I wasn't sure...like I wasn't sure if there was a right answer...of course there is a right answer as long as you're true with yourself.

If I were to ask that question to a number of you could you honestly give me ten characteristics of your self. Not what you hope to be but WHAT you currently are?

It's not an easy task because we tend to sway to what others think we should be. To fit into some specific spot in this world.

I know currently how I few myself now if that is the same well I will let you define.

1. Kind
2. Caring
3. Dreamer
4. Geek/nerd
5. Passionate
6. Curious
7. Hard working
8. Dedicated
9. Faltering
10. Optimistic

Now that didn't seem to difficult. I believe I'm being truly honest with myself. I struggled with this which in itself makes me feel I'm still discovering myself on some deeper level. If I were asked this question 4 months ago or even 10 years ago I would have failure in that mix. Which I'm sure one day I will dive into.  I know some people still judge me for these qualities and I don't understand that, but that is a battle I feel maybe understandable.

People change throughout life and I feel that this should be an ever changing growth honestly. You won't know me from a year ago, let alone ten years ago.

I think if someone had posed this question to me ten years ago I would have maybe told people that I was:

1.  Ambitious
2. Always right
3. Entitled
4. Know it all
5. Self Assured
6. Caring
7. Kind
8. Negative
9. Worry-wart
10. Anger


I remember I was filled with negativity, drama, hatred for some, laziness, and a few other not so good qualities - so I see how some judge who I am currently. I hear the words that you can't just change...I dare ask why can't you?

I used to be the girl who would throw a fit to do chores, didn't really want to go to school and through college skipped my share of classes. And I've lost my fair share of jobs and walked out on a few too.  Although, I believe I've changed through these last few years. My priorities have shifted. So that should show that things can indeed change with your inner self.

So my challenge to you is to really look in a mirror and ask yourself WHO YOU ARE! What makes you so important and special. What do you like and what don't you? If you find things that you don't like try and improve on that - change it. It may not happen overnight but it can happen. Change can take years so be patient and just work with it. Some will help guide you and others may hold you back - the trick is to tell yourself that you're doing this for you because in the end - you only have to live with you deep down inside.